Broken

i am so crushed by the pain of my peers... everywhere i look lives are falling to pieces. drink. drugs. divorce. death. children abandoned or emotionally abused. people treated worse than animals. relationships breaking over and over again until there is nothing left. my soul aches for these. homeless, helpless, hopeless people. i prayed, "God break my heart for what breaks yours" and so he did. but now that my heart breaks for the brokenhearted, what am i to do? am i really doing all i can? i am getting my degree, pursuing the means to help, and i pour myself into the lives of those around me but is it doing any good? i keep telling myself that i cannot save them, that only God can, but i so long for them to be saved. not just spiritually but also from their earthly pain... or at least to experience God and the hope of Christ through earthly pain. it seems that so many are succumbing to darkness. they get to a place where they dont even want help anymore... must i sit by and watch dear loved ones face daily death and despair? i am willing to suffer for the sake of the gospel of Christ in order that they be restored, but do i suffer in vain if they are not? spare the weak O God! do not turn a deaf ear to those in anguish! listen to my plea O God, not for myself but for the sake of your holy name vindicate the downtrodden. HERE AM I LORD SEND ME... i grow so impatient with developing my gifts and training my mind. help me to see what YOU will have me see and throw away what YOU will have me throw away.

there was a great victory today praise God! it was not of me, i was not speaking, nor was i even present but finally God answered a desperate cry for help. i pray that, that cry is answered for another and another and another until all see the majesty and glory of our Most High God.

i realized just now that i never finished typing up my journal from my DC trip. since i see it as a defining moment in my life i will resume work on that project and have it up ASAP