A Year Ago

this year has been a difficult one. it has perhaps been the sadest and yet happiest one of my life. a year ago this month is when it all started it seems. my little dog Bits died. i remember like it was yesterday and i wont bore you with all the gory details but one scene i remember so clearly was the day before when she was very sick. i remember sitting on the couch at skool waiting to go to class. i started crying and my best friend at the time, Brandon, put his arms around me and told me it would be ok. i cant remember all that he said, probably not much but i do remember him telling me, "It's all in His hands" that simple phrase became my motto for the next several months as trial after trial befell me, including the loss of Brandons friendship. another friend of mine, Mikey, was having a similar year of heartache and trial only it was much worse than mine. seeing him go thro all the things he did is probably wat saved me from self loathing and pity. it made me realize that in fact i was not the only person on earth and that we do not have an ashleocentric solar system but a heliocentric one. the important part about this is that we are all on earth together, all going thro horrible trials (some more than others). but wen i saw someone who was having a harder time than me and i tried to help him and point him to God i relaized how far from Him i really was. even now, looking at others sufferings shows me just how selfish i can be. i thank God for placing Mike in my life to help show me how to look at others and not only think of myself. i still have a lot to learn and i think this year will further test me in this area but lookin back on a year ago from now i can see how far iv come and how God is using the bad for good.