What I Think About in the Wee Hours...

it really frys me how people will take wat u look like and judge yer strengths and weeknesses by wat they see. so just becuase i enjoy wearing nice clothes and looking as best i can, i must be a week, pitiful, giggly little, whiney girl. another thing that frys me is how we play to the roles we r given. because its wat people think i am i become that which i hate. most people havent seen my firey, stubborn, headstrong. independant, can-do-anything side. not saying thats bad lol but i feel so worthless around a lot of my friends. i constantly feel like i need to prove myself wen around them but im afraid if i try to ill fall flat on my face and prove them right instead. or wen i occasionally do something like that everyone is so shocked and i feel more how inadaquite i look in their eyes. i admit it i struggle with selfconsciousness a lot more than i should. wow i have gotten a lot bolder in my blogging lol.....guess its cuz no one reads it besides maybe K and she has no sympathy for me...not that im lookin fer any, its just that its 12:42 in the morning and i cant sleep so im putting down my thoughts which supposedly helps. this whole writing out my thoughts thing is kinda theraputic cuz ive not really got anyone to tell them to who doesnt want to fix it. im my own shrink lol!!! well anyway maybe ill write a poem er something........*steps down from soap box*